It's been a year...

One year ago today, on August 26, 2010, my dear friend Gregory Winfield Gibbs unexpectedly passed away. I was devastated.

I first met Greg when he walked into The Palace, an old dance club in Provo, Utah about 23 years ago. It was love at first sight for me - literally. Well, I fell in love with his eyes... I just simply liked the rest of him. We became very close friends after a few weeks of attempting the boyfriend/girlfriend thing (wasn't for us, we clashed big time!). I didn't think we'd last as friends either, but I quickly learned I was wrong.

Greg was the first man to respect me and it awoke in me this desire to want more out of life and my relationships. While I faltered from time to time in that respect, I always thought of him and his beliefs in how I deserved to be treated. It helped me walk away from bad situations that came along in future years.

Greg was also the one to start the nickname that has lasted all of these years: AnnaBob. It was a year or so after he started calling me that that I learned from one of his sisters it was because he couldn't remember my full first name... he remembered it started out "Anna..." but couldn't remember the second part. I worked at a men's clothing store at the time and he walked in a day or two after we met attempting guesses at my name as he entered. I had my back to him, and it wasn't until I heard his voice that I turned around and acknowledged him. It just so happened that I turned around when he said, "AnnaBob" and so it stuck. He called me that through the years and when I served a mission for my church, the name caught on and I was known and "Sister AnnaBob", "Sister Bob", or simply "Bob". I became known as the girl named Bob! I never complained because there were always such sweet memories attached to that name and the person that gave it to me.

Greg always made an effort to stay in touch, even though I was lousy at ANY long distance relationship (ask my dearest girlfriends from California just how lousy I am!). He let me know when he moved to NY, when he got married, and tracked me down a few years ago via Facebook to let me know what had changed, etc. We talked about everything! I know most people refer to "soul mates" as being the person they marry (or want to marry), but I use the term to refer to people my soul knows and loves in much deeper ways - Greg was (& will always remain) one of my soul mates. He understood me and I understood him. Our friendship was unconditional and we never expected anything less from one another. He taught me how to live, how to love, how to find out for myself what life is all about. He gave me more in the 22 years I knew him than anyone else combined has been able to do for me.

The week after his passing, I started the Fall semester at UVU and my new audio course. The instructor gave us our final project requirements that first day - a cd of favorite music! I decided to make my cd a tribute cd in Greg's memory, a cd full of songs that reminded me of different stages in our relationship over the years. Along with his anthem of Forever Young (Alphaville) and others that brought back fond memories of him, I also picked a song that reflected how I was thinking/feeling then and how I knew I would be thinking/feeling a year from then. Well, it's now a year later and this particular song still reflects and represents what I think/feel, so here are the lyrics for Eclipse's "Pouring Rain":

Pouring Rain
Written by: Shayne Taylor & Patrick Rose
Performed by: Eclipse

Summer night, and I'm making my way home as rain begins to pour.
Trying to fight thoughts of someone that I love who's not here anymore.
How quickly times can change, one moment here next moment gone.
The good times come and go, and all that's left are faded memories.

(Chorus)
And I walk on through the rain
And passersby don't notice tears are falling down again.
And I walk on through the pain
And with a sigh I listen to the gentle sound of pouring rain.

It's been a year and yet the ache that's in my heart still hasn't gone away.
And so I fear, that the dreams that keep me up at night are here to stay
It's a pain that weighs me down and I can feel the darkness closing in
My world's turned upside down and there's no change in sight to make it right again.

And I walk on through the rain
And passersby don't notice tears are falling down again.
And I walk on through the pain
And with a sigh I listen to the gentle sound of pouring rain.

In my mind I am wandering along through memories of my friend.
You know I would give up everything to have those moments back again.

And I walk on through the rain
And passersby don't notice tears are falling down again.
And I walk on through the pain
And with a sigh I listen to the gentle sound of pouring rain.

Why did it have to end this way; no reason why.
I never even had the chance to say goodbye.
Only time can heal this heart; I know I'll never be the same
But even if you're not here with me, my love for you remains.

And I walk on through the rain
And passersby don't notice tears are falling down again.
And I walk on through the pain
And with a sigh I listen to the gentle sound of pouring rain.

And all I can hear now is the gentle sound of pouring rain...

(If you'd like to listen to a clip of the song, you can do that here on eclipsesingers.com)

Maybe someday I will share the contents of the rest of the cd along with the liner notes... but for now, it holds memories I hold sacred.

Dearest Greg, thank you for all you did for me while on this Earth and for all you continue to do for me from above - for the nights you comforted me in those first few weeks, and for the little things you do to let me know you are there. I am also grateful for the opportunity I've had to chat with some of your siblings over the past year - it's been a blessing to see how you've continued to bless their lives as well. I hope I can live my life in such a way that when I am gone, people refer to me the way your friends and family do of you... Without you I wouldn't be the person I am today. 

I love and miss you... I always will.
AnnaBob